In this
competitive and corporate world, you will find less people who really agree
with you in any matter as all are wise and no one really cares about your
success as we all are busy in developing ourselves and our business, then in
this situation -How do you feel when someone disagrees with you or your ideas ?
Do you feel attacked or offended?
Does your posture change?
Do you immediately feel the urge to
respond and prove that you are right, or do you want to withdraw?
How do
you feel when someone not only disagrees with you and trying to blaming you in
negative sense or try to reject your ideas or try to down you through rejection,
and also makes negative or derogatory comments about your position?
When
people disagree with our thinking, our natural tendency is to become defensive,
often causing destructive results to people on both sides of the issue. Do you
think become angry and being reactive can solve your problem , No ! not at all
, I am saying because I am a well experienced person , I know what happened
with me in past . My spontaneous reaction often down my image and sometimes it
also create huge problems in my life , sometimes I mistreated due to this too
whereas I don’t mean anything , I always try to reduce my problem through TRUTH.
One of the skills we should all strive to master in our personal and
professional lives is how to properly handle ourselves when we disagree with
another person.
Disagree With Respect and Consideration
It’s
not necessary that we all should agree with everyone else, When it is necessary
to disagree, you should always consider how the other person is going to feel
and address the situation with respect and humility. When you are thoughtful in
the way in which you disagree, you enjoy the following benefits:
·
People will be more open to your point of view.
·
People will start listening to you
·
People’s respect for you will grow.
·
People will be more willing to share their opinions in the
future and support what you do.
·
You will appear more professional and mature.
·
You will feel better about yourself and your image will be like
previous.
·
Your emotions are less likely to turn negative.
·
You will have more productive conversations.
On the other hand, when you lack humility and
fail to show respect when expressing your disagreement, you will likely
experience the following consequences:
·
You offend and hurt others.
·
You will be viewed as being egotistical.
·
You run the risk of damaging a relationship.
·
If you end up being wrong, you appear stupid or uninformed.
·
You’ll be mistreated and people will misinterpret you and your
ideas too.
·
If you truly care for others, you end up feeling bad and later
apologizing.
·
Your attitude will turn negative because your emotions are
negative
·
People will be less supportive of your ideas, decisions, and
points of view.
·
You’ll gain more enemies instead of friends.
·
Which is the reason of your serious downfall.
Pick Your Battles Wisely
Do not dispute things that aren’t truly important
to you.
Always
stay focused on the problem, not the person.
Ask yourself: Is it
kind? Is it true? Is it necessary?
“Does it
really matter? Do I need to point out why I think the other person is wrong?” If so, “What do I hope to accomplish?”
How
will allowing this to degenerate to the two of us picking apart each other's
personal values and beliefs or physical/personality features solve the issue
itself? (It won't.).I have
discovered that 90 percent of the time I disagree with someone, the upside of
debating the issue is not worth the downside.
Seek to Understand
If the subject
is one that is important, here’s what I have found works best. Before stating
your position, ask questions with a tone of respect, humility, and genuine
desire to learn how the other person reached his or her conclusion. When someone makes
a statement that you do not agree with, there are various ways to express your
dissent. Almost yelling out "You're SO wrong" isn't a good one.
Neither is making it seem that your option is the only one, such as saying
"that's a no-brainer".
Here are some examples:
·
Why do you feel that way?
·
How did you reach that conclusion?
·
How do you feel about…(something they may not have considered).
·
Have you thought about…(something they may not have considered).
·
How would you handle…(something that may go wrong).
By
asking questions with the sincere desire to understand the other person’s point
of view, you will enjoy these benefits:
Always try to understand why and how the person drew the
conclusion that you disagree with. You might find that they've experienced
things that you did not, and that those experiences can shed light on your own
beliefs. Asking open questions and listening actively will be the best possible
way to find out what they know and it can give both of you a breather from any
current disagreement. If you
end up still disagreeing after having discussed the subject, handle yourself
with dignity and class. We are as different on the inside as we look on the
outside. We all have different life experiences that cause us to view
situations differently. And always remember, that what may be logical to you
may not be logical to others.
Just
because we may think we are right, does not necessarily mean the other person
is wrong. There have been many times when I was convinced I was right, later to
learn I was wrong.
Also
keep in mind that disagreeing can take on many different forms. In addition to
heated discussions or arguments, it could be as simple as giving people
feedback on something they’ve done, ignoring a point they have made, or even
showing disapproval through your body language.
Let
me also encourage you to avoid expressing your disagreement through email or
text messages. If you value your relationships, discuss opposing points of view
in person. If that is not possible, then discuss them over the phone.
Experience
vary from person to person but you can’t judge someone’s present through their
past but yes! You can conclude their inborn quality and personality.
·
You will understand how the other person reached his or her
decision.
·
You may change your opinion, based on the new information.
·
The other person may realize his or her position is flawed
without you ever having to express your disagreement.
·
The questions may help both of you reach a conclusion different
than what each of you originally thought.
·
You will be able to discuss the subject without anyone feeling
defensive.
Be little bit wise
If
the discussion drags on in a stalemate of sorts, it's probably better to move
onto to talking about something that you do agree on If you push
too hard, the other person may end up disagreeing for the sake of disagreeing,
just to avoid being "swallowed up" by your will and to defend their
own sense of self. The answer to this includes:
Be
tactful and diplomatic. Know when it's best to sidestep or give the issue a
break than to keep pummeling it.
The
next time you find yourself disagreeing with another person, ask, “Is
this subject important to me?” If it is, ask questions with a genuine
desire to understand the other person’s position. If you can’t reach an
agreement, then be proud of the way you handle yourself.
PS :- I AM THE MOST CONTROVERSIAL AND MISUNDERSTOOD PERSONALITY (my astrology also say same thing - check in WIKIPEDIA - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shatabhisha), EVERYONE HAS PAST AND EVERYONE LEARN FROM THEIR PAST EVEN I TOO. WHAT MISTAKES
I MADE YESTERDAY, I AM TRYING NOT TO REPEAT SAME AGAIN AND AGAIN , OTHERWISE NO
GOD CAN SAVE ME . WHAT MISTAKES I MADE I WROTE IN BLOG SO THAT OTHERS WILL NOT
REPEAT SAME AND FACE PROBLEM LIKE ME.
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